What do you feel?
I am fed up of a typical question
mediapersons ask in every interview: what’s your opinion on X issue? Let me put
it straight. As a scribe, I haven’t asked anyone this question till date and
pray, will never. I don’t feel it’s necessary for every person to react on
everything under the sun. I know, what I feel hardly matters, as this question
is almost invariably answered. A film personality may pass some comments on
politics, sports or even international affairs. This isn’t confined to social
or glamour fields; this is something we come across in day-to-day life.
It’s not merely
about making opinions but about passing instant judgments! Generalising things often makes matters
worse. This headline in a leading business paper caught my attention. It was
about Marissa Mayor, Yahoo CEO, joining work within two weeks of her maternity
leave. The newspaper went to the extent
of saying that she was setting a bad precedent for career-oriented women. After
a few days, I saw her maternity leave sparking off debates and discussions not
only in world’s leading newspapers but also on social networking sites!! When
it was discussed in our newsroom, I refused to encourage anything related to
this not because the issue was insignificant. I don’t think that matter could
or should be seen in an Indian context.
But it happens.
People love to be judgmental about others pretty quickly. Whenever I accompany
my friends to a hotel, mall or anywhere else, I have observed this peculiar
tendency of criticising or appreciating passersby.
Once I was
sitting with a friend at a coffee shop. She was observing a couple sitting at
the next table. We could make out there was some heated argument going on. My dear friend suddenly opinionated that the
lady was dominating and the couple would part ways soon! She continued talking
about it for half an hour, passing comments about many of our common friends
and relatives all the while. Finally, I stopped her and pointed out a little
rudely that she was indulging in discussion that would go nowhere.
Most of the times, such comments
are made without understanding the other side of the story. Celebrity
marriages, remarriages, divorces are all discussed one-sidedly. Sachin
Tendulakar’s retirement, Asha Bhosale’s daughter’s suicide or Kareena-Saif’s
wedding, every person down the road talks with been-there-seen-it air!!
Gossiping lot can talk about anything, vegetable being cooked in a household to
Obama’s poll prospects.
How can we comment without
knowing anything first-hand? There could be many angles to an issue what you
and I may not know of. Marriage, divorce or retirement is one’s own matter; so
what is a person is a celebrity?
Again, every individual is
unique. We cannot apply the rule of Marissa Mayor to others simply because
position, responsibilities and priorities differ from person to person. That’s
probably the reason why Big B is reluctant to comment on many things, as he
sees himself as an actor and not an all-knowing expert.
It may be a common tendency yet taking
undue interest in others’ lives is not something to be proud of. Nevertheless,
there also are people who deliberately form no opinions on certain matters or
people, not because they aren’t capable but they are focussed on what they
want.
An aside: I deliberately cut down
on being judgmental about others and the mind really started becoming clearer.
-KanChan
So very true.
ReplyDeleteAnd so very sad... people like to think that you are just stupid, if you restrain yourself from commenting on such issues.