Love’s labour Won!

A fairy tale of love might culminate in a marriage but in real life, it’s just a beginning. Love marriages make news, be it of an ordinary couple or of a celebrity. What surprises me is the special affiliation associated to love marriages putting them into a special category. Many live under the impression that couples in love marriage share lives resembling to the reel.  A very typical reaction when something goes wrong with a couple is “still it was a love marriage”!  Maybe, love-married couples must be burdened with expectations of having everything right.  At the end of the day, all it requires to keep a relationship going is maturity and why love marriage should be an exception?
What prompts me to talk about love marriages suddenly? This question may crop up naturally and let me keep things straight before the speculations start. My take about marriages and husband-wife relationship is very unconventional. However, that hardly makes any sense since this particular view was formed after the conventional marriage! Thus, our family structure is similar to that of any urban Indian family. Again, from my perspective, ours is very much a marriage, without adjectives like love or arranged. To me, love is a goal to be attained and retained and something that just cannot be confined by the boundaries of relationship. Love cannot be institutionalised but relationships have always been.
Secondly, I am not a relationship counsellor either. Yet, we cannot deny our lives are dominated by relationships on professional, domestic and social fronts. Hence, sharing some observations about relationships in general and notions about love marriages in particular intrigues me. The other day, when my husband, said that on his professional outstation visit, he missed our 10-month old daughter more than me, “in spite of being in a love marriage’, I just couldn’t control my laughter. Missing daughter more than wife is perfectly understandable.
One can instantly connect to children; they may be necessarily not yours. Perhaps, no relationship in the world is as pure as the one with the child. It is because there are no expectations, no regrets, no egos, no insults but just purity, unadulterated. Children have no prejudices. They are said to be godlike, who neither fear nor favour. No sweat even your love is not reciprocated, you cannot stop loving a child. This can happen only with kid. Imagine, can we dare make such statement in a marriage? You know the answer.
Love begets love! A child cherishes the purity of a relationship on this basis. In short, all relationships could be genuine if we are childlike and it’s not a kid’s play…
-KanChan


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