Who’s this, by the way?

Is this real me? I ask myself at times and I am sure everybody does. Some of our rowdy avatars bother us. I particularly observed this the other day. If you otherwise ask me, am I capable of creating a scene in public? I would say I generally avoid it. Which wise person wouldn’t? In a fit of rage, I did…thanks to my encounter with a disabled beggar who came rolling on a small wooden platform with wheels.

I neither encourage begging nor oblige a beggar. However, I’ve no issues if they don’t create nuisance in traffic. I would see this beggar everyday on my way to office. That day, he landed before me and I had a narrow escape from meeting an accident. I had heard and seen this beggar’s tale from many. It was my first-hand experience. He just refused to move unless I paid him. I didn’t have change. I lost my cool when the beggar refused to move. I decided not to move till he did. It being a road with heavy traffic, vehicles started honking. Brazen (I don’t like to call him this way but this is how he looked), he was adamant.

A 15-minute scene amid traffic cops and others who stepped in to intervene! On reaching office when I regained my cool, I asked myself, was it necessary to cerate the scene? What did it yield? The beggar was never going to stop begging. He had nothing to lose. Yes, but I wasn’t just showing temper. It was necessary for someone to give a lesson to the beggar who was a menace on the road. Yet, had it not been for anger, I couldn’t have gathered courage to create any scene in public at any point of time.

I have seen different avatars of mine many times. I would passionately fight with a friend one moment and the next moment, looking at my chemistry with her, one wouldn’t believe we could bay for each other’s blood! I wonder; I am too levelheaded a person to lose cool but it happens.

On the contrary, I have also observed myself being wiser than I really am. In some debate, I may see suddenly I’ve extraordinarily taken a wise stance. This has also been a pattern in some articles wherein I’ve written exceedingly well than what I normally do.

Time comes in everyone’s life when one asks oneself, who it real me? All are real, I feel. They are different shades of the same colour.

Well, nothing wrong either in losing control or being wise, till it is genuine. Be as you are, that’s the mantra. Of course, anger, emotions, extremes have to be curbed but why manipulate? When this feeling sinks in, emotions slow down, tempers scarcely soar and better sense prevails. That’s real you.

-KanChan