What can I say?

What sounds logical?

A.    ‘New mothers should quit their job and be with their children for initial years’ 

B.     ‘As expenses mount after child, a mother needs work even more post-delivery’

Was she right?

A.     ‘In spite of being tortured, she pulled on with stressful marital relationship and things look alright in her life. She made a right decision’

B.     ‘Fed up with abusive relationship, she finally gathered courage to call it quits. She is more peaceful now’.

Your answer decides what kind of person you are.

A (in both cases):  You are opinionated and judgmental, conventional

B (in both cases):  You are liberal

If AB and BA: You have a personality disorder (?)

It’s not a quiz, don’t jump to conclusions. Well, don’t merely dismiss it as some gossip. Perhaps, gossip is something that always happens to others. What happens to you is always a serious matter. In above cases, there is nothing logical and right per se, but again that’s according to me. I am sure you, too, have something to say. Today, we can not only say but express, manifest, reveal and also advice (without being asked). We have so much of a virtual space called the Internet, which is eternal. Blogs, social networking sites are flooded with columns on relationships and parenting.

Of course, the virtual apace brings both pros and cons in its trail. We cannot undermine the importance of this space in mutually discussing and solving issues. Anonymity could be the biggest asset in some cases. And at the end of the day, we know we are talking about the issues that cannot be solved by a rulebook.  A relationship advice doesn’t make one a better husband, wife or a parenting guideline doesn’t shape a wise parent.

However, what is striking is everyone easily getting judgmental about others and also about oneself. A working mother, who has quit a job to look after the newborn, would be highlighting the importance of homemaking. A working mother of a toddler would talk about work-life balance.  A divorced lady would portray what she has come out of. An odd being would explain how ‘someone’ more than a ‘friend’ can help marital relationship. Each person is justifying. They seem convincing themselves more than the readers.

And majority of readers are judgmental taking sides, giving opinions to an unintended audience!  Each decision in a particular situation could appear both, right or wrong. A difficult situation could be like crossing a Rubicon to one while a catwalk to the other. What would a third person have to opine on?

Well I must answer the questions I have raised at the very outset. No quiz would give right answer as there is none and that’s my answer too. Maybe, we can have more meaningful conversations on the virtual spaces when we have no judgments to pass, comments to make and have ability to listen to what one has to say and not what we have to hear.

After all, a lot seems overwritten on the linear line between real and virtual.

-KanChan