When mango works magic!
How about quitting something that you love the most? It’s an uphill task to exercise control. It’s a different story how much you stand by the decision but many interesting things unfold when you decide something like that. From my own experience, I can tell you it’s both fine and amazing.
The other day, all of us were having as informal chat at office and a colleague walked with a painful face. She had just visited a dentist (even the idea is monstrous for me!). Soon we learnt that it wasn’t the tooth pain that was hurting her but it was the doctor’s ultimatum about chucking chocolates. “It’s my lifeline yaar. I have too much of sweet tooth,” she grumbled. Surprised, I asked her what was a big deal in quitting chocolates. She was barely 25 and had damaged her teeth. I couldn’t buy the argument that she couldn’t resist her temptation even for health.
Her grudge was different. More than bidding adieu to chocolates, what was bigger deal for her was how to deal with offers! “I am synonymous to chocolates. This is the gift I receive from everyone. It would be tough for me to disappoint others.” Putting my foot down, I said it’s all about controlling the mind than minding what others say.
She posed a counter-question. Knowing that mango is to me what chocolate is to her, she asked me not to touch mango this season. She wanted to see how much control I could exercise. Oh, it was a tough ask although in the first go, I thought it’s not too tough. I was sure I could exercise control.
My problem was somewhat similar to hers. I was reminded of my upcoming visit to my hometown, Devgad, heartland of mangoes. People survive on mangoes in summers there. As kids, we too didn’t require anything to smear our chapati with. Hapoos, alphonso mango, runs in my system and any possibility of not having it is simply ruled out! I was wondering how I would reject mangoes coming my way during my visit. Unless you are a diabetic or have some health problem, no one refuses the king of fruits. More than saying a goodbye to mangoes, it could have been more difficult to say no to people. I thought people would think I am a fanatic if I say I have quit eating mangoes. If I go for two days a year, is it necessary to give people a leeway for uncalled for discussions?
I must admit these were all excuses. I was not ready to do it.
Delving deeper, I saw something more to it. When it comes to making a resolve and sticking to it, there are two sides. When you are convinced about the idea, your conviction goes across. When you are firm about what you have decided, you needn’t explain to others. It’s not just training you mind but carrying it with grace and confidence.
However, is there any need to create unnecessarily fuss over it? Is it worth hurting genuine feelings of others? Making exceptions to our rules is as important as abiding by them relentlessly. It all depends on gravity of situations. What is more important, our resolves or others’ true feelings?
This, in any way, does not mean that exceptions become the rule! There is no dearth of people who make so many excuses and exceptions that their resolves go out of the window never to return!!
Let’s take a balanced stand. Do everything to exercise control and be convinced but at the same time, never mind making an exception in extenuating circumstances. After all, what matters is right things at right times…