About having it all…

Being spoilt for a choice is a nice feeling till you make a right one. Imagine yourself in a plush eatery caught in the midst of a variety of delicacies from salads to mouthwatering desserts. It could be worse if you are health conscious. What we are talking about is not always temptations that lure us but about opting for the important thing between two or more equally essential. 
Setting up priorities and making a right pick are tad tough than they appear. Easier said than done, it’s not easy to get the best of everything always, right from à la carte menu to choosing something in life when you are at a crossroads. Though having best of everything is not specifically a gender-sensitive issue, it seems applicable to the fairer sex in many walks of life. Especially in India, the entire journey of a girl since childhood days seems to be aimed at becoming ‘Ms Perfect’. It all begins with an endeavour to be a dutiful daughter; after marriage, every girl is striving to be a perfect daughter-in-law. It’s touchy after becoming a mother, as tightrope walk gets harder. Can you simultaneously be a good mother and professional?
The case could be not very different with a man trying to become a dutiful son, husband, father or son-in-law. It’s not about a man or a woman but status in question is whether you can really have it all. The recent interview of Pepisco CEO Indra K Nooyi on why women can’t have it all created a ‘fizz’ across the corporate world. She went on record saying that she had put a similar passion for her work the way she did for growing her daughters up. She candidly confessed that every day, she had to make a decision whether to become mother, wife or CEO. She signs of on a note ‘‘I am not too sure of my daughters will say if I have been a good mom…”
If this is what one of the most illustrious women in the world and CEO of world’s one the topmost food and beverage’s companies says, lesser said the better not only about the average Indian woman but also about a professionals trying to achieve work-life balance. To an extent, I could also relate to what she was saying. Though I have been a very average professional, I had to make a decision between daughter and workplace. It’s not easy to leave your seven-month-old infant behind and still it is even more difficult to stay back leaving your job. I was missing on the fun of being witness to beautiful memories of growing up years of my daughter nevertheless, I was sure I was shouldering the other side of the motherhood, trying to make her more comfortable.
At even for a stay-at-home mother, it is not as smooth as it seems. Even she has to make a decision between a naughty baby running around and the kitchen platform. In my opinion, it’s not the attempt of the fine-tuning everything that is a problem but attitude of having the best of everything. We cannot be supermen or superwomen excelling at everything. Of course, nothing wrong in giving it the best shot but eventually, secret of success perhaps lies in knowing you can’t have it all. And then, like Nooyi says, ‘we start developing ‘coping mechanisms instead of killing yourself of guilt’.
Coping mechanisms are necessary for the reason they keep us going. Even if you are a mom, just recognise that you do require your space, a much needed rest and attention to your health and fitness.  After all, coping mechanism, in no way, demeans your efforts but charges you up to treasure what you have instead of brooding over the fact that you can’t have it all.

-KanChan

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