You or me?

You or me?

Which came first, a chicken or an egg, a man or a woman? Well these could be among the world’s unsolved riddles but they aren’t the only. Perhaps, a tougher one is; you or me? All our lives, we have spoken and heard this refrain, why should I? This question mark, we think, puts an end to everything and yes, here it all begins.

Put the ball in other’s court and we are ready for the blame-game…

Of late, I was drawn to many such you-and-me conversations. One such incident made aware of the whole affair that boils down to you or me. The other day, I came across an acquaintance who praised her ‘trustworthy’ maid. She said we could even hand over the house keys to her and go anywhere. She also said that the maid went an extra mile to work beyond KRAs at times! Thus, whenever I heard housewives cribbing about ‘untrustworthy’ maids, I put forth this example. “I am ready to trust a maid provided I get one,” one of them once promptly told me. Her problem was ‘genuine’ as she had put the ball in the non-existent ‘trustworthy’ maid’s court whose trust she questioned all her life. You should learn to trust and you find trustworthy people or you should wait until trustworthy people approach you? Waiting is easier man…

In a typical lovers' tiff, you know an adamant man or lady says, why should I? Whenever one is trying to be a mediator, that person needs to solve this puzzle, why should I make the first move?
By putting ourselves first, we are always on the ego trip. And when the ball is in our court, we shift the goalposts.

Those, who all of a sudden get a spiritual call, want to meditate all of sudden. But there too, we are grappling with the same question, can mind become quiet by meditating or we should meditate for mind to make it quiet? With hesitation, meditation is unlikely make any difference but we are sure to misinterpret the quintessence of meditation.

Well what’s the concrete answer? It’s you or me? It’s like chicken and egg. When it’s ‘me’, we want to keep guessing the move of the second person like they do in chess and still we want a fair game in life.

Me or you? A wise would seldom make a choice as wisdom knows, you lose the moment you choose.


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